When Life is Less Than You Dreamed

October 24, 2014 by Scott in Uncategorized

Do you ever feel like your life is less than you dreamed? Are there some dreams you had for this time of your life that are just not a reality right now? Can you remember a time in your life—and maybe that time is now—where the dreams you had and the reality of life ran into each other and they hated each other? Maybe you are swimming in the reality that being a mom isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe you never dreamed you would be single and 38. Maybe you had a dream years ago but are still waiting. In those moments, life hurts. There just isn’t another way of saying it. I think the times in life when we experience hurt are those times—when we realize life is less than we dreamed it would be.

And the truth is that sometimes life hurts because we bring the pain on ourselves because of our poor choices, but sometimes life hurts just because we live in this fallen world. A world where unfortunate things happen leaving us with hurt, pain and disappointment when all we really wanted was peace and love.

I want to talk about dealing with that pain and dealing with our sadness. I am a firm believer that there is power in believing that God’s word is true and that it is alive and active in our lives as believers. So if you are in a season where life is less than you dreamed, I want you to write this down somewhere and put it where you can see it often.

“…giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.” Isaiah 61:3

This is only part of the verse so to give a little context, the writer is prophesying about the coming Messiah, Jesus. And Jesus was to bring the favorable year of the Lord. A year in which captives were set free, the brokenhearted were bandaged, and those who mourned were comforted. Since having kids, I have struggled to find joy—joy in the small and mundane things. I have found that when life squeezes me so tight that I can barely breathe, what exhales out of me isn’t too pretty most of the time. I also thought of myself as an easy-going type person until I had kids. I just realized that I had never been really pushed or stretched before which is why I believed I was easy-going. However, I believe that Jesus is here to let me exchange my mourning for gladness and my spirit of fainting for praise.

In those moments when life looks different… a spouse lost their job; a pregnancy abruptly ends; the house contract fell through; another single, dateless month; a child that pushes you past your breaking point… Jesus offers a great exchange.

Psalm 45:7 says, “Thou hast loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, Thy God, has anointed thee with the oil of JOY above thy fellows.”

This is huge for those of us whose life is less than we dreamed. God can give us joy in the small things and anoint us with an oil of JOY. Part of believing is knowing that God will do what He has promised He will do. You can bank on the fact that God will do what His word says. His word is unchanging and His promises are YES. So when life is less than you dreamed, start putting His truth in your mind and heart. Even when my feelings scream something different, there is something happens in the obedience of mind renewal to His truth. Circumstances may not change. You child will still be 3 tomorrow and completely dependent on you, but the more you change your perspective the less pain you feel. You may not meet Mr. Right tomorrow, but God can give you a mantle of praise in this season. We can have victory here. My best friend and I tend to struggle with some of the same things. So we have a pack that whenever I struggle, I in turn lift her up and she does the same for me. There is something powerful in taking your eyes off yourself and lifting up someone else in prayer. Can we do that here? How can I lift you up when I begin to struggle? When I feel like life is less than I dreamed, I will pray for you and you for me. Deal?

Friday Finds #TargetStyle

September 26, 2014 by Scott in Uncategorized

Welcome, friend, to another Friday. I love Friday Finds because it means we made it to the weekend. Holla!

It is no secret that I love Target. Just ask my husband who pays the bills. I go in for chocolate almond milk and come out with baskets to organize something. Anything.

(please note that Target has not PAID me in any way however if they happen to read this, I will definitely promote for them!)

It feels like a vacation for me when I can shop wander around Target aimlessly and look down every aisle. There is a certain joy that comes from it. In my younger, no kid days, I used to do the same thing at Barnes & Noble. Now I can hardly sit still long enough to truly enjoy Barnes & Noble. But wandering around Target is practically exercise. Right?! You guys are in total luck this week. This week, Target is having a great sale on clothes & shoes for women. It is buy one get one 50% off. My style board definitely reflects some of these items on my list. I took advantage of the sale and bought the booties & sneakers. I had to physically refrain myself from buying the stripe bag & statement necklace. I literally almost bought them and had a script written out how to convince my husband that I had no idea I had bought them. I mean, mint and coral = swoon. And I am ALWAYS sold on stripes. Just look at this blazer. I have been wanting a plaid blazer for years! I saw someone interviewed on a talk show years ago with one on and have been looking ever since. And finally, you can't have enough gingham in my opinion.

1 Loretta Sneakers; 2 Loretta booties; 3 statement necklace; 4 tailored twill blazer; 5 striped tote; 6 gingham style

Here I am rocking the new kicks...

I hope you guys enjoy your weekend and take a vacation at Target. Pretend you need paper towels and don't look back! The sale probably ends Saturday. Get yo'self a salted caramel mocha from Starbucks and cruise every aisle!

Blessed

September 18, 2014 by Scott in Uncategorized

When I was a mere 22 year old, I packed up my Honda Accord and moved across the country from Tennessee to California. As with most young people, the first year out of college is a hot mess. Everything you thought you wanted to be wasn't what it was. And everything you thought you were going to do was different. Oh, glorious transition. I had three jobs my first year out of college--worked for a minor league baseball team (what was I thinking?) then an administrate assistant (which I was terrible at) and finally a ministry job. It took all those steps to get me to California.

I moved across the country to work for Saddleback Church as an unpaid intern in their high school ministry. (Not sure what my dad thought about me moving across the country to take a job that wouldn't pay me which meant I was going to still be under his dime for the foreseeable future). One of the perks of being an intern was living with a family while there. And let me just tell you that I hit the jackpot. I lived with the Hamers. These people are simply amazing. I believe wholeheartedly that they will be sitting at the right hand of Jesus one day. I cannot express how much I adore them.

While living there, Kathleen, the mother, dreamed up an idea of having a conference that put mothers and teenage daughters in the same room. She wanted to create an environment that fostered the relationship at the exact moment when tensions pull that very relationship apart. She wanted a place to guide young women who are at a place in life that is so easily caught up in believing the “lies of the world” and help them discover the freedom of the promises of God. The verse we set this event on was Luke 1:45...

"Blessed is she who believed in the fulfillment of that which was promised by God."

That whole experience truly shaped how I ministered to female students. Whenever I spoke to girls, my burden was for them was to believe the promises of God. And now, as a mom of two young girls, I continue to dwell on Luke 1:45. In fact, in 2013 I chose the word "blessed" to be the word of the year for me. And I didn't choose that word because I wanted or desired a physical blessing, but I chose that word based on what it means. In the greek, the word "blessed" means "to be indwell by God and thereby fully satisfied." In 2013, I strongly desired God to move on our behalf in certain circumstances. Life was strained and tense. We had a huge home that we needed to sell in order to move to a new state. My husband started a new business with a friend. I was in a temporary full-time job that was stressful all the while having two little girls. It's not that we wanted happiness. More than anything, I desired blessedness--understanding that I am fully satisfied by God because He dwells in me. Happiness has nothing to do with blessedness. The Lord never promises happiness, good luck or favorable circumstances but He promises blessedness. You can take that to the bank. This means as a believer you receive His indwelling and the consequent peace and satisfaction no matter what the circumstances may be. Blessedness.

James 5:11 says, "Behold, we count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." That verse should be translated: Behold, we recognize those who endured as blessed (having been indwelt by God and in Him finding their full satisfaction in spite of their suffering). "Endured" means to remain under. It's the picture of an umbrella. To remain under or sustain a load of miseries, adversities, or persecutions in faith. Some of us maybe need to carry around an umbrella even if the sun is out just so we can remember that. "Sarah, it's not raining." "I know. I'm remaining under the protection of a God who fully satisfies." You who are enduring, remaining under His coverage, are blessed because you are indwelt by the living God--the one who remained under throughout the worst possible circumstance of death. God has promised you blessedness.

What would it look like in your life, in your circumstances, if you picked up your umbrella and claimed the promise of blessedness? What areas of your life seem to be falling apart? Your health? Your marriage? Your lack of marriage? Parenting? Blessed is she (you and me) who believed in the fulfillment of that which was promised by God."

I Can't Get No Satisfication

September 03, 2014 by Scott in Uncategorized

If I could ask God to remove one point of struggle, I wouldn't have to think long to come up with an answer. There is something in my life that breeds constant struggle. Maybe you have something to that effect, too. It's something that I struggled with in different ways in different seasons in my life. No matter how it manifests itself, the root problem is the same. It is something that I thought I would have mastered by this point in my life, but it seems to still show up. I'm talking about this struggle today on ungrind.org. Ungrind.org is a place for women to find encouragement about faith, relationships, life and everything in between. Come on over and have a look...

In The Meantime

August 24, 2014 by Scott in Uncategorized

Tonight, we had the privilege to go watch a girl get baptized who was in my small group as a freshman in high school. This girl is now 24 years old. One thing about student ministry is that a lot of times you don't get to witness the fruits of your labor--the hours spent hanging out, counseling, driving from events, prayer and hope. That's why it is such a privilege to get to witness this event all these years later--to see how God has worked in her life over the last decade. She got baptized at our old church and I seriously love listening to the pastor, Andy Stanley, teach. He has a way about him. He can communicate something so articulately. They are in the middle of a series called "In The Meantime." The idea is: what can you do when there is nothing you can do? What do you do when you seem to have a problem with no solution? You feel stuck in your job or marriage or situation. What do you do when you are miles away from an ideal with no good options? What do you do in the meantime?

So since North Point isn't our home church now, we missed the first week in the series which you can listen to here. SPOILER ALERT! I am going to talk about what was said tonight in week 2 of the series. The message came from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 where Paul talks about how God gave him an affliction, a thorn in his flesh. The greek word for "given" is positive. It isn't a negative connotation which we would most likely view because if we were afflicted in anyway it would be negative yet Paul uses a positive verb. It was given as it might be a birthday or christmas present--given with love and with intention. And Paul says that it was given so that he could experience God's power which is perfected in weakness. That God's grace is sufficient for me. God's power reaches its full measure in your weakness.

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Andy's take home is this: "In order to... I was given a thorn... a gift with a purpose & a promise. Embracing your inability is a prerequisite to experiencing Christ's ability."

So we can choose to see this thorn as a gift given from a loving father that comes with a purpose (that you may not yet know) and a promise--that His grace will be your strength.

What area do you struggle with the most right now? I have been able to answer that question easily over the course of my life, and today is no different. Can I just be honest with you? I'm going to believe that this little haven of mine is safe. I value authenticity. As a communicator, I'm not me if I don't speak honestly about myself--the good, bad and ugly. Honestly, what is my struggle right now? My kids. Y'all, this parenting thing ain't no joke. I was seriously underprepared for this job. My big child is in a season where we struggle. In fact, that season began at birth but for whatever reason, it is elevated in the current state. Everything is a battle of wills. The irony is that she doesn't battle with ANY. OTHER. ADULT. Pure perfection at school yet at home, with us, all of it is a battle. And if I were being gut-level honest, I have never really viewed having kids as a gift. Now, I ask that you cut me some grace before you completely hang me up to dry. (I am definitely an imperfect person writing this blog.) It's hard to view things that are difficult as gifts. It's hard to view a job loss or unlovable spouse or illness as a gift. It is hard to view a child who fights your every breath as a gift. That doesn't mean I don't love her. I love her and would give my life up for her but parenting her hasn't felt like a christmas gift. Tonight's take away was for me. God gave me this strong, determined girl on purpose with a promise. I don't know why God chose me to parent her but I can believe that His grace will be my strength. It is something that causes me to rely on His ability in my inability.

So I'm gonna own it. I'm gonna boast in my weakness. I am not strong in parenting. I would have completely failed that course if given. I'm gonna embrace it so that in my weakness glory bounces back to God. here is week 2 if you want to watch online.