Episode 89: Kathleen & Derek Hamer

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Kathleen Hamer and her son Derek join me around their kitchen table in the Seattle area. I had been wanting to introduce you to them for a long time now. In fact, they were one of the first guests that I listed out when I first brainstormed the podcast. You see, Kathleen was an almost emptynestor when she and her husband, Dan, decided to adopt Derek who was age 5 and his brother, Reggie, who was age 3. And now, Derek just graduated high school. 

They adopted the boys 13 years ago. And I know so many adoptive parents who are on the front end of adoptive or even in the thick of the middle years of adoption. And just like in so many things, sometimes its helpful to have a perspective who has walked the road longer. And I thought it would be helpful to hear from an adopted son's perspective. 

You will hear their story of how they found each other, what it was like when he lived on the streets of Kitale, Kenya at age 4, his advice for adoptive families and what it was like when he returned to Kenya years later. So pull up a chair to the kitchen table and join the conversation.

Links:

  • Video of Derek sharing his story
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Survival Kit:

  • Derek: his relationship with his parents

  • Kathleen: A good book, chocolate, her family

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Kathleen:  Instagram // Facebook

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • There is something powerful to their story. Isn’t it remarkable how God orchestrated their meeting? I think it’s always a good reminder that God speaks even to the hearts of little children. It’s heartbreaking to think of a 4 year old living on the streets, but God sees. I love seeing the man Derek has become. I’m so thankful that he is willing to share his story. 

  •  God can make something good out of something painful.

  • The best question to ask yourself is: "What can I do?” It starts with you.

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What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one titled "Great For Husband's Too" from JakecGross. He said, "Great + entertaining podcast. Send it to your wife, but also check it out yourself."

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

Avoiding the “New Kid” Target: Seven Ways to Help Guard Against and Counteract How Cyberbullying at a New School

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Laura Pearson joins me today to talk to you about the realities of cyberbullying along with some ways to guard against it. Laura is a mom whose son was the target of cyberbullying. You can find more from Laura here.

Moving to a new city or state is a stressful time for school-age children. They have to cope with a new home environment, make new friends, get to know new teachers, and learn their way around a new school. One thing that makes being the “new kid” even more difficult is that they can become an easy target for bullies—particularly cyberbullies. Statistics show that over half of adolescents have experienced being bullied online. 1 in 3 students have experienced threats online. With those stats in mind, we can’t sit back and ignore the realities for our kids. Here are seven ways to help guard against and counteract cyberbullying at a new school.

Get Your Child Involved in Extracurricular Activities Early

The new kid makes an easy target for bullies in part because he hasn’t had the opportunity to make many friends yet. You can help to combat this problem by getting your child involved in extracurricular activities soon after your move, even before he starts attending his new school, if possible.

Extra-curricular activities provide opportunities for kids to easily make new friends with shared interests, which can make them a less-appealing target for bullies. Plus, after-school activities can provide an outlet for stress and boost self-esteem.

Create a Stress-Free Home Environment

There’s no way around it: moving will be stressful for your child. Keeping the home environment as stress-free as possible can help your child adjust to the many changes happening in her life. Make sure there are plenty of healthy food choices available for packing school lunches, after-school snacks, and meals. A healthy diet supports both mental and physical well-being.

Make moving fun for your child by allowing her to pick out new decor for her bedroom, giving her her own personal space where she can escape and feel comfortable. Adding some plants throughout the home can help to purify the air and give it a more home-like feel, as well.

Encourage Your Child to Communicate with You

When your child starts her new school, ask her about her day, every day. Having open lines of communication may make some children more likely to share both the ups and downs as they get acclimated to a new school, which in turn makes it easier for parents to pinpoint potential issues.

 Watch for Warning Signs

Children are notoriously silent about many instances of bullying which means that you must be vigilant and keep an eye out for warning signs. If your child doesn’t want to talk about his day, for instance, starts to spend more time alone in his room, or experiences sudden shifts in appetite or changes in sleeping patterns, it’s time to take a closer look at what’s going on behind the scenes.

Talk to Teachers and Staff at the School

If your child is being cyberbullied, it may fall outside the school’s direct control, depending on the laws in your state and local school district policies. That said, it’s always worth talking to the teachers and staff at your child’s school. They can watch for problematic behavior and keep an eye out for the emotional effects of bullying that your child may be exhibiting in school. Plus, when they’re aware of bullying taking place outside of the school walls, they can take more immediate action if incidents do occur at school.

Enlist the Help of a Psychologist

If you suspect your child is being cyberbullied, or even if your child is having a particularly tough time with the move, enlisting the aid of a psychologist or therapist can be helpful. It may be easier for some children to discuss sensitive subjects with a trusted adult other than her parents. Additionally, a therapist can provide you and your child with proven coping strategies to help you work through the transition and combat the emotional effects of cyberbullying.

Report Cyberbullying to Authorities

Keep documentation of cyberbullying incidents. Save text messages, take screenshots of messages and comments on social media, and document all other bullying interactions. You shouldn’t hesitate to report cyberbullying to online services (such as social media platforms) or even local law enforcement agencies, particularly if a bully is threatening your child or encouraging self-harm. Sometimes, reporting these incidents can stop bullying in its tracks as bullies may become fearful of legal consequences.

Cyberbullying can make moving to a new city or state even more stressful on young children and teens. Creating a stress-free home environment, getting your child involved in extracurricular activities, and enlisting the help of teachers, staff, and professionals are the best ways to help your child overcome cyberbullying at his new school. Never hesitate to report cyberbullying to online services and law enforcement.

Episode 88: Neely McQueen

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Back in early July, I took the podcast on the road to Seattle. Seattle now is home to so many people that I love and who were influential in my life during my early twenties. So I took the opportunity to fly out there to sit down around the table with a few of them and Neely McQueen was one of them.

I enjoy being around Neely so much. She is the real deal--what you see is what you get. She is a wife to her husband, Josh, for 18 years. They have 3 kids--2 biological and 1 adopted from Ethiopia. And she oversees student ministries at Overlake Christian Church in the Seattle area.

With over 20 years of student ministry experience, we talk about loving teenagers and advice for parents of teenagers. And we also have a conversation about adoption--why they chose to step into that, what helped her walk through the early days and how adoption changed her.

Links:

Survival Kit:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Neely:  Instagram // Twitter

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • One of my takeaways was the reminder to be mindful of where you are in life. Take time to remember and look back because time will pass. You need to be reminded in the middle of the eye rolls that they were cute and you have made progress. Sometimes parenting feels like you are walking in quicksand. So taking time to look back and look around truly does help.

  • What's great about teenagers: When they are younger they believe you. They believe that they can change the world. They are more willing to try things. They have less cynicism to life. They feel loved just by your presence.

  • What do you say to parents who fear what is coming? Keep trying. Your kids really do want you and need you. You are their constant. You are their solid foundation. Take small nuggets of time together. Step into their world--their interests. Be intentional. Be willing to push through and make yourself available.

  • "The conversations you avoid become the conversations that are the problems." Don't be unwilling to have the hard conversations.

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one titled "Great For Husband's Too" from JakecGross. He said, "Great + entertaining podcast. Send it to your wife, but also check it out yourself."

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

Episode 87: Suzanne Stabile

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Suzanne Stabile joins me for Episode 87 and I’m not gonna lie. I was sorta geeking out that she was joining me. Suzanne is an internationally renowned teacher who offers a unique and creative approach to the practice of spiritual formation. She is viewed as a master of the Enneagram and her first book, The Road Back to You was published in 2016. If you haven’t read it yet, I can’t recommend it enough. I feel like I’m seeing the Ennegram everywhere these days, but maybe you just said, “Enne-a-what? Is that like an email version of Instagram? But the enneagram is a unique way to understand who people are wired and how they see the world. So we have a conversation about the Enneagram—what it is, how to determine what number you are and for those of us who are parents—how to be the best parents for our children based on enneagram wisdom. 

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Links:

Survival Kit:

  • Her husband

  • The grace & support of her children

  • The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson

  • Boy Scout popcorn

  • Enjoys working with lots of young adults who are smart & creative who help her be better

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Suzanne:  Instagram // Website  //  Facebook // twitter

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • I’ve thought about the different people in my life and how I can better understand who they are so that I can love them better. Because when you begin to understand how God has wired you and others that you are in relation with, then you can develop a sense of compassion with yourself and with others.

  • "We don’t really know ourselves by what we get right. We know ourselves by what we get wrong."

  • "Your greatest weakness is also your greatest strength."

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one titled "Great For Husband's Too" from JakecGross. He said, "Great + entertaining podcast. Send it to your wife, but also check it out yourself."

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

Episode 86: Lisa Lloyd

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Lisa Lloyd joins me for Episode 86. Sometimes you meet people and you feel like you could have been friends for years. That is exactly how I felt about Lisa. She is an actress, speaker and writer. I was intrigued by her when I saw her book called Chasing Famous: Living the Life You've Always Auditioned For.  I can totally relate that life seems to be full of auditions--in friendships, dating, marriage, parenting, and in our jobs. Sometimes we are enough and accepted and sometimes we are rejected. So we sit down to talk about rejection, God’s redeeming grace and the idea of chasing fame. 

Links:

Survival Kit:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Lisa:  Instagram // Website  //  Facebook // twitter

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • I think one of my favorite takeaways was something she said in the beginning when we were talking about rejection and different seasons of life when the reality of what you want just isn’t working out. She said, “God isn’t breathing on that part of your life right now.” Look around and see what He is breathing on right now in your life. What seems to be happening easily or just falling in your lap? She talked about coming to place where you can trust the no’s. 

  • @@Man’s rejection is God’s protection@@; those who reject you just aren’t supposed to be on that journey with you. It takes the focus off of what you need to do better and reminds you to just keep walking forward. 

  • “The Bible is clear, God wants to use the story of our lives to radiate His fame. He doesn’t point His finger at our mistakes and screw-ups. Rather He points us to the stage so we can share with the world how truly glorious He is.”

  • She is not afraid to boldly share her story and God stands center stage. Rather than worrying that people will judge you or criticize you for the choices you made, instead light is shone on God center stage. We refuse to believe the lie that we need to stay shut up about it. @@Allow the light to shine on the dark closet of shame to disband the enemy’s lies about it@@.

  • I'm also glad that she talked about the power of sharing our story. @@You empower people to share their story when you share your story@@. What keeps you from sharing your story? Do you worry about what people think? Or do you think that you have nothing good to share because of what you've done? It takes a lot of bravery to share your story.

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one titled "Great For Husband's Too" from JakecGross. He said, "Great + entertaining podcast. Send it to your wife, but also check it out yourself."

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!