Episode 114: Clay Scroggins

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My friend Clay Scroggins joins me around the table. He married to Jenny (who is a faithful Surviving Sarah listener) and they have 5 kids. Clay is the lead pastor for North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. Many of you may have heard of that church because Andy Stanley started it. 

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He wrote a book last year called How To Lead When You’re Not In Charge. And let’s be honest, so many of us are leading somewhere—in our home, in our work, in our church, in our schools. Each one of us has the ability to leverage influence yet many of us are stuck waiting to be given the authority to lead rather than tapping into the influence that we have. So we talk about the difference between authority and influence, the challenges that keep us from tapping into our influence, how to survive working for someone you don’t respect, what to do when you crave more influence, and how understanding our identity is crucial in cultivating influence. 

Links:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Clay:  Website // Instagram // twitter

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • How many times do I just want to leverage my authority rather than influence that kid? People don’t respond well to being forced to do something. The older kids are the more important it is to be the kind of person they want to listen to. Even the best leaders lead like they’re not in charge. They lead through influence not through position.

  • Challenges that keep us from tapping into our influence: 1. believing the myth that you have to have authority in order to lead. What excuse are you using to not lead? 2. Not understanding our identity.

  • In order to lead well, then you have to understand who you are. @@“I think the best identity is letting what God says about me be what’s most true about me.”@@

  • Great leaders are not immune to failure. They have the endurance to get back up again. @@Failure doesn’t have to be defining of your identity.@@

  • Resist the temptation to define your identity by your child’s behavior. "If you can appropriately define your identity then you can risk yourself to cultivate influence."

  • What do you do to help lead yourself? To do this, you need to know exactly where you are. You can’t get to where you want to be until you know where you are. Ask someone who is around you for feedback.

    • what is inspiring about working with me?

    • what is frustrating about working with me?

    • what are my blindspots?

    • what is it like to be on the other side of me?

  • How can you be okay with the influence that you have rather than always chasing for greater influence? Who is the influence for? What’s the point of the influence? Why do you want influence? @@"Cultivating influence for the help of other people is hardwired into our DNA."@@

  • How do you challenge someone in authority over you who you don’t respect? Look for what is greater at work in your work. My goal is to cultivate influence with that person. What can you do to make that person look good? Believe the best about that person. God is not surprised by bad bosses. This opportunity is not wasted - keep a list of what you are learning from a boss (good or bad). Choose positivity.

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What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren, Suzanne Stabile and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one from "Je$B071980". She said, “I love the topics and guests Sarah chooses - it seems like she reads my mind because I can relate to practically every episode! She has a great conversational tone to her podcasts and is so authentic. I've been so encouraged and have learned so much from this show.”

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

Episode 113: Hannah Brencher

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Today, Hannah Brencher joins me. She is a TED speaker, author and online educator with a heart for building leaders. She is passionate about helping others live good and full lives. You may know her for the social movement she created in 2011 called More Love Letters where she wrote love letters for strangers. That small act on her part has spread to over 70 countries, all 50 states, and over 100 college campuses.

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I enjoyed this conversation so much. And you won’t be surprised to hear us talk about the enneagram and how her unique wiring is connected to what does. We talk about what it looks like to be in process, how to stay focused on the process rather than getting caught up in what’s next and what helped her walk through a season of depression. I promise you will not be disappointed with this episode. So pull up a chair and join the conversation.

Links:

Hannah's Survival Kit:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Hannah:  Website // Instagram // Facebook // twitter // Pinterest // tumbler

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • “Big amazing things are really just a bunch of small things that stack up into something.” Isn’t that beautiful and true? I often picture myself pushing a giant boulder of achievement rather than stacking small stones. I want the quick fix, fast glory. But its the faithfulness in the daily everyday life. Doing the small things. Waking up. Feeding my kids. Packing lunches. Encouraging others. Paying attention to others. All small stones that stack up into something bigger.

  • Just because you feel something doesn’t mean its true or reality. Lead with more facts than feelings. Your feelings can get you into trouble. When she was younger she felt like something was wrong with her because she cared so much. She didn’t know how to categorize all her feelings when she was younger. Validate your feelings but remember that they are not the end all. Channel that emotion into something.

  • Draw a circle of what I can control and the things that I can’t control. For instance, I have no control over who is going to listen to the show. But I can control the quality of the show. Focus on the things that you actually do control. Don’t watch how others are living their lives and go work.

  • We tend to search for ways to be better, more productive, and think one day I’m going to arrive. But that mentality misses the point. We are to be in process and be in love with the process. 

  • How can we stay focused on the process? She challenged herself to do things in the everyday rather than always working towards a goal in the future. She broke her day down to the following categories: projects // people // plans // prayers. That helped her stay present. The way to be more in the process than the destination is to be about people--how we build them up and cheer for them and show up for them. Remind people that they are capable. Be an encourager.

  • Train for longevity, everyday discipline, everyday work. This is a marathon. Don’t wait for fireworks. Live your everyday life now.

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What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren, Suzanne Stabile and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one from "Je$B071980". She said, “I love the topics and guests Sarah chooses - it seems like she reads my mind because I can relate to practically every episode! She has a great conversational tone to her podcasts and is so authentic. I've been so encouraged and have learned so much from this show.”

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

 

Episode 112: Josh Shipp

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Today, Josh Shipp joins me for a really amazing conversation. This was one of those conversations where I just got lost and forgot that thousands of you would be listening. This is a conversation between two parents who both work or have worked with teenagers for many years and have seen the power of another caring adult in a kid’s life. 

Josh is an author, global youth empowerment expert, and acclaimed speaker. A former at-risk foster kid turned youth advocate is renowned for his documentary TV series by A&E that followed his ground-breaking work with teenagers. I first found out about him many years ago from MTV. I have been wanting to have a conversation with Josh about teenagers since I launched the podcast so I was thrilled when this day arrived.

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We start by talking about the personalities of our kids. And I’ve been thinking so much how important it is that we understand our kids’ wiring so that we can figure out how to communicate with them—especially if they are teenagers. We talk about doing the hard work of parenting, why kids need a caring adult in their lives, and how to better understand teenagers. If you have teenagers or work with teenagers or have kids who will eventually be teenagers, then you will certainly enjoy this conversation. We talk about moving from an air traffic controller in the early years to a coach in the adolescence years. So pull up a chair and join the conversation.

Links:

Josh's Survival Kit:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Josh:  Website // Instagram // Facebook // twitter // YouTube

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • As adults our greatest talents or skill sets are sometimes the most annoying things about us as kids. What annoys you the most about yourself? What annoys you the most about your kid? Maybe we can change the way we see those annoyances. Maybe that can help us have perspective in the moment.

  • You are not the only screwed up parent. Thank goodness.

  • @@"Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story."@@ Who was a caring adult in your life when you needed it? 

  • When it comes to dealing with teenagers, can you be 1% more hardheaded than they are? Don’t take it personally. Look one mile marker past it. In the moment when you want to take it personally, allow yourself to take a few minutes to think clearly. Figure out your triggers. What can you do each day that will help you have a better day? There’s a lot that you can’t control so think about what can you control. 

  • @@"The things that hurt us the most are the things that can most help others."@@

  • We need to transition from an air traffic controller into becoming a coach with our older kids. The coach is still the leader and has influence, however the way they exercise their influence is slightly different.

  • Pre-game // During the game // Post game

  • How can I help prepare my kids to succeed without me?

  • What do you think teenagers wish their parents knew? Teengaers wish their parents knew that their motive outweighed the results. They don’t mean to be moody, rude, etc. but remember that there is so much pressure on them.

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What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren, Suzanne Stabile and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one from "Je$B071980". She said, “I love the topics and guests Sarah chooses - it seems like she reads my mind because I can relate to practically every episode! She has a great conversational tone to her podcasts and is so authentic. I've been so encouraged and have learned so much from this show.”

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

 

Episode 111: Melanie Dale

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If you’ve been listening to the show for awhile, then you know that Melanie Dale and I are good pals. After being guests on each others shows, we wondered how we could hang out more because we simply laugh together. So that’s when this idea was born. We decided to do some crossover episodes for you guys. So every month, you will hear us talk about a different topic. But here’s the fun part: One part will be on her show, Lighten Up with Melanie Dale and the other part will be on my show, Surviving Sarah. We will pick a topic and talk about how we need to lighten up about it and then how we are surviving it.

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And today’s episode is all about friendships. We talk about on Surviving Sarah how we can survive friendships--finding them, keeping them and what to do if we lose them. And head over to Melanie's site to listen to ways we can lighten up about friendship.

Links:

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Melanie:  Website // Instagram // Facebook // twitter // Podcast

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • @@“Sometimes great friends come outside of the box.”@@ That may be one of my favorite lines from this episode. I love it because even Melanie and I are different in a lot of ways. She loves to wear combat boots, knows all the ins and outs of Star Wars and loves show tunes. And me, I can’t even imagine wearing black boots in general, I’ve only saw the original star wars back in the 80’s and show tunes make me want to throw myself in a ditch. YET, we found each other and thoroughly enjoy each other. So it comes to surviving friendships, look around. Start where you are. Be the initiator. Sometimes an authentic friend is right under your nose.

  • Don't let comparison rob you of your friendships. Social media can be keep you back from initiating an authentic friendship with someone.

  • One thing that can be a relationship killer is your schedule. We are all busy. But if you want friends, you have to make time for them.

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren, Suzanne Stabile and many more.

Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

Here is a recent one from "Je$B071980". She said, “I love the topics and guests Sarah chooses - it seems like she reads my mind because I can relate to practically every episode! She has a great conversational tone to her podcasts and is so authentic. I've been so encouraged and have learned so much from this show.”

Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!

Episode 110: Ashleigh Slater

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I was happy to welcome Ashleigh Slater back to join me around my kitchen table. She was my second guest 2 years ago. We have a conversation about braving sorrow. We talk about loss—loss of jobs, houses, dreams, control, and even life. Loss can make for a hard season that we sometimes end up walking through alone. We sometimes don’t feel like we have the permission to grieve losses. We compare our losses and feel like ours isn’t worth grieving.

She talks about her “weeping years” where she walked through a number of losses in a couple of years. And she shares what she learned about herself, her community and her God because of it. 

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Links:

Ashleigh's Survival Kit:

  • Netflix

  • Coffee

  • Chocolate Jar

  • Fuzzy Socks

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with Ashleigh:  Website // Instagram // Facebook // twitter // Pinterest

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • We live in a culture were we are supposed to rush things and not feel things. You have permission to grieve.

  • When you are in the middle of the sorrow, look for small gestures of God's love--daily reminders that He loves you.

  • You are the protagonist in your story. You will face hurt, loss and sorrow, but through those difficult things, you become stronger.

  • Before you face sorrow, find a support system. Treat it like an investment. Invest in other people so that you when face sorrow, you won't walk it alone.

    What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation  on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here. 

    Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.

    A new episode every Tuesday... just subscribe.

    Subscribe for free on iTunes or Stitcher or your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss out on great conversations with women just like you. Women who are surviving and thriving. You don't have to do life alone. Be inspired, encouraged and entertained by women like Sandra Stanley, Shannan Martin, Jamie B. Golden, Mo Isom, Annie F. Downs, Joni Lay from Lay Baby Lay, Christy Nockels, Kay Warren, Suzanne Stabile and many more.

    Did you enjoy today's conversation? Rate the podcast.

    My goal each week is to encourage you to survive in this very thing called life. If you were encouraged or inspired or entertained, head over to iTunes and leave a brief review with a 5 star rating.

    Here is a recent one from "Je$B071980". She said, “I love the topics and guests Sarah chooses - it seems like she reads my mind because I can relate to practically every episode! She has a great conversational tone to her podcasts and is so authentic. I've been so encouraged and have learned so much from this show.”

    Your review will help get the podcast in front of new listeners who are just like you looking to know that they aren't alone in life. Thank you for being awesome!